European Invasion I

London

It's funny. I've always been told that London was cold and wet. When we arrived there everyone was complaining because it was 25°C. Far too hot! It was beautiful. Lovely blue skies. Real T-shirt weather. The nice weather lasted for three out of the four days we were there. The last day was cold and drizzling all day.

We took advantage of the fine conditions to do a lot of exploring.

Rocky and Greig do as all tourists do.

Public transport is the only way to travel in London. Lots of buses and the Underground. It was pretty easy to get just about anywhere. We did all the usual tourist spots - Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden, The Monument, The Thames, Greenwich, Big Ben and the Millennium Wheel.

The thing that struck me about London, is that I always assumed that it would be a very busy world capital city. While there are a lot of people living and working there, they aren't in a rush. In Sydney on a work day you will get swept along the street with the crowd if you are moving too slow. If you stop you would be trampled. Everyone has somewhere else to be and they need to be there NOW! That's not the case for London. The people just move that little bit slower on the streets. Maybe it's just a little more dignified that way.

Of course the other thing that struck me about London was the prices. Holy shit! I have no idea how the locals can afford to live there. The prices of basic food and other life-giving essentials are twice what I'm used to paying. Londoners don't get paid that much more than we do in Oz, so it must be a huge struggle. Luckily we were staying with a friend (thanks Sammy) so at least we were shielded from the huge cost of accommodation.

Berlin

Now, Berlin I liked. After leaving the tight confined spaces of London, this was a breath of fresh air. Sure, it was raining for the first two days, but then it cleared up and the weather was beautiful.

We were joined in Berlin by Rat, an ex-Sydney boy now living in London. He's a great fan of Berlin and I can see why. The history is magnificent. The boys are cute. The place is clean. It's just the language I have a problem with. But then, that's my problem - not a problem with Berlin.

Rocky in lust(garten).

Rat and his boy Nick showed us some interesting places. A nice dance club with a set of stairs at the back that went down to a dark area in a basement. There were lots of boys down there, but as it was dark I couldn't see why there were there. Perhaps their eyes were sore from the flashing lights of the disco and they needed to give them a rest.

They also took me to a private party hosted by a charming gentleman known as Master Mick. We met a few interesting boys there but ended up getting a little tied up and staying longer than we originally intended. Rat and Nick were quite happy to just hang around for a while anyway.

Berlin is a contrast of ancient buildings and new structures. It's not a particularly tall city though, and I think that's one of the things I like about it. You don't spend all your time in the shadow of buildings.

We went for a trip up the giant "golf ball" and paid about $7 for a coffee. The view was spectacular and food always tastes different when you are revolving. We explored all the big name items by day and by night. Berlin is a place where you feel quite comfortable walking around the city at night. There's something about the place that makes you feel safe.

What is it about beggers? Here in Oz a scruffy looking person with torn clothes and dark circles under their eyes will stop you on the street and ask you for money. If you politely say "no", they tell you to get fucked, and everyone goes on with their lives. In Germany they dress their 150 year old grandmother up in beautiful lace dresses and send her out on the street with a piano accordion. She sits there holding it, not actually playing it, and looks at the ground. The first few I saw, I thought was some Germanic form of street art.

Speaking of buskers - what about the buskers on the trains? Once those doors close you are trapped. Out comes the accordion and violin and the hat. The trains have no doors at the ends so there is no way to escape to another carriage. They are underground so you can't jump desperately out of a window. All you can do is try to cope until the next stop, get off and wait for the next train.

Köln

The most beautiful cathedral
in the world.

We went to Frankfurt. The less said the better.

Köln (Cologne) wasn't really on our list of cities to visit. Sure, it was a great place to pick up a bottle of 4711 for my Mum, but we didn't really think much about it. It just came up as a logical place to stop over while getting from point A to Point B. (Point A being Frankfurt and Point B being Paris.)

Anyway, we ended up there. We stepped off the train and before our eyes was the most magnificent building I have ever seen in my life. For two days we stood and admired that building. It was just awe-inspiring. Besides, there was bugger-all else to do in Köln.

Paris

Rocky on a giant mechano set.

Ahh, Paris. City of lovers. Home of fine wine and food. Dog poo all over the street.

We were lucky enough to stay right where the action is. Right in the heart of the red light district of Paris. I now know where the worlds oldest practitioners of the world's oldest profession ply their trade. Rue de St Dennis, Paris. I also found the Pointer Sisters working on the next street corner. Who knows, for an extra couple of hundred Francs they might even break out in a chorus of "I'm so excited" for you.

But I digress.

We explored most of the city of Paris on foot. A bad move considering the dog population there. Once again you are surrounded by history in Paris. Streets that Napoleon walked (probably the reason for his limp), squares where hundreds probably lost their heads.

I was very disappointed to discover graffiti on all sorts of beautiful historic monuments. Now, I'm the first to admit that my beautiful city of Sydney is filthy. In fact, it can be a pig-sty at times. But I'd like to think that the kids here with their baseball hats on backwards, carrying cans of cheap spray-paint from Hardwarehouse^® won't try to leave their marks on 500 year old buildings (if they existed over here). But anyway, that's my grief - I won't bore you with it.

We did all the tourist traps in Paris, but the stand-out was the most unlikely. The Catacombs. The mortal remains of 6,000,000 Parisites all piled end-on-end in 1.7km of underground tunnel right in the heart of town. The feeling down there is indescribable. Each bone is a person. Amazing.

Disneyland!

It's a small world after-all. It's a small world after-all, It's a small world after-all. It's a small world after-all.

Posing in front of a strange
Disney character that was
openly smoking drugs.

Euro Disney is exactly the same at the American ones? It's uncanny! It's like the French have no individuality at all! Actually, that's unfair. I know that Euro Disney was not welcomed with open arms by the French. I can respect them for that. I was really disappointed to see that the American corporation had simply transplanted their entire culture onto another continent without taking some of the local culture into account.

There was one ride that was particularly French. And it was great. Obviously produced in France for the French, using local talent. Everything else was transplanted from the US and either over-dubbed in French or even worse, using sub-titles. I know if they tried the same thing over here everyone would be up in arms. (Let's face it, few speak French here in Oz.)

Anyway, did the rides. Still love Space Mountain. Appalled at the food. Wish you were here.

Brussels

Brussels was beautiful. What more can I say? The city has an atmosphere that I have never experienced before. There's a vibe about the place. Seven days a week it's like Saturday night in just about any other city on the planet.

We were staying in a hotel right in the centre of the old section of town. The streets were all cobble stone. The buildings all beautiful. Even better, we were treated to a live concert in the square with a chamber orchestra and lots of local bands and groups performing.

The beautiful view of a beautiful
city from a woeful room.

You walk down the main street of, say for example, Kings Cross here in Sydney, and gentlemen in suits will grab you and expound the virtues of the girls in their particular clubs and their particularly large tits (the girls, not the gentleman's - although that is also often the case as well). They will offer you the world if you decide to walk in the door to their humble club.

A similar thing happens in Brussels, except without the tits or the girls. Or the clubs for that matter. Maitre D's of restaurants will stop you as you walk past and eagerly proclaim in 18 different languages simultaneously that their restaurant is the one you want to eat in. How can you say no? Well then guy at the next restaurant is equally as persuasive.

Manchester

We did also do one other city on our European Invasion - Manchester. We wanted to see the city made famous by the series "Queer as Folk".

Well, we saw Canal Street. We had a drink at every major pub and club on the Manchester scene, thanks to our contact in town, Matty. We discovered that the people of Manchester like a drink. By "like a drink" I mean they really like a drink!

Manchester was great fun. A pretty vibrant place for a city that closes at 2am. Unfortunately we only spent two days there before training back to London.

Back Home

London has lots of Starbucks branches. Luckily there are lots of other places to get coffee as well, so there's no actual need to go into one. Having said that, we did - but only once - and only out of desperation.

The flight back was awful. We were on the flight booked entirely by new mothers and their screaming offspring. Any thoughts of sleeping were tossed straight out the window. Well, not out the window of course, that would be silly. The risks involved in the sudden decompression at 10,000m are inconceivable. Mind you, we could have blocked the open window with screaming kids. Excuse me - I'm babbling. I'm tired. Sorry.

We were met at 6:30am in Sydney airport by Daisy and Kirk. It seems Dudley overslept. (We'll remember that.) Next stop, of course, was a real King Street coffee shop for a real King Street coffee.

There are just some things in this world that you can only get here in Australia.